2 years is a long time, if life changes and just a pittance if things are hunky dory. With an aim to dream and achieve, I left college on a voyage unknown. A journey of uncertainty, upheavals and above all untested waters- The decision to join LSE!
Let me move to an action replay mode and go back to circa 2008, a year that changed my life by leaps and bounds. The decision to join a prestigious school in U.K. can be very unnerving, a mixture of hope, excitement and fear in equal measures. I have to thank my family who gave me the one thing that would make the difference, a chance!
LSE happened at a very appropriate moment in life. Things weren’t heading anywhere and I was being bogged down by a lot of emotional baggage and the offer to study was like a ray of hope. LSE gave me the opportunity to widen my horizon and learn beyond traditional boundaries. It was time to spread my wings and take flight. A flight to a far away land, tones of happiness and a bagful of pain (the added spice of life).
Well to start with most of us (all my fellow LSE offer holders) spent our pre departure days acquainting ourselves with each other and shared weird stories from the decision to apply to getting a room to stay in LSE halls. I had nothing much to share till the day before I flew out as I received a room confirmation at the twelfth hour. I have to admit, though we were a heterogeneous group of people, I made some really-real- friends during the pre LSE days.
Reaching London and settling in my hall of residence was a process by itself and was full of surprises, laughs and an occasional tiff (which I would have loved to describe as a difference of opinion). I doubt if my friends would disagree, but there was never a dull day, unlike the dowdy weather outside, during my entire stay at Passfield Hall. Over a large English breakfast, the endless refills of coffee or tea and portions of a nice mixed dinner which were never enough, I bonded with some amazing people.
The best part of staying in hall of residence was about being a part of a melting pot of diverse culture and varied backgrounds. A learning ground to know more about your foreign pal or next door neighbor, their culture and the unique characteristics that they bought to LSE. Be it Diwali or Halloween, Christmas or Holi we all pitched in to celebrate each fest as our very own. It was truly an enriching episode.
Cooking is something that I don’t fancy much (and all those who think that all gals should like cooking, go take a cookery class), but cooking for a bunch of friends was not only interesting but also satisfying. Those moments spent in the warm kitchens of the hall catching up on daily news will always stay with me. As part of hall memories I would like to mention those marathon drinking sessions, but I guess will leave people to recollect them rather than mention those hilarious outcomes in detail here.
Moving on let me introduce certain very special people who made my stay in London memorable. Sorry no names only personal traits that distinguishes them from others and I guess most of you would know whom I am referring to.
To be extremely frank I have always had very few close friends on whom I could rely and expect them to be there for me. And yes I found some more in LSE. I think they aren’t aware how lucky I am to have them in my life and what it meant to have them stand by me at all times. That’s an entirely different issue that some wouldn’t even offer tea or coffee when you land up at their place. Instead would ask you to make them a cup of hot chocolate!
Also some who were extremely hell bent on proving themselves right, that they may sometimes forget what they are trying to prove. Then you have those who call up for pep talk (counseling sessions) at midnight owing to home sickness. Not that I objected, infact it helped me combat my very own in a different way! Then came those who sat with you in silence and let you rant and rave and in the end smile and say ‘it’s alright’. Things will be fine tomorrow.
Evidently there is more to this list… Some got so busy with their new lives (maybe busy running away from old ones) that they ended up distancing themselves and then also complained, where were you? Some who went into over analyzing mode and ended up getting worked up. And last but not the least all those who wanted to say something but essentially kept quiet. Ah! The irony of life, subtlety sometimes doesn’t work.
Of course I have to mention the radio jockeying I undertook with a friend and all those Wednesday evenings spent agreeing to disagree on the show script that enabled us to bond beautifully. Don’t know if any of our friends at London heard us on radio, however our families back home surely did. That when you realize the term home and how each moment spent away from home is precious and needs to be treasured to understand the need for a family.
Come December and as the hall emptied out a few us enjoyed a very English Snowy Christmas. Of course life as I said before is not always hunky dory. I started having problems. My back stared giving me trouble and slowly the spark of life started to ebb from me. March 2009, is the month I would hate as well as never forget. It robbed me of lot things, particularly the right to lead a healthy normal life. I started losing on the chance to enjoy with friends, on time to reach out to my dreams, an opportunity to prove oneself, but above all it saw me inch towards the gates of hell (I guess I wouldn’t be welcomes in Heaven).
My pain went from bad to worse and then there was nothing I could do except hope that the next morning won’t be as bad as the previous night. Nevertheless that never happened. Each night was torture and every morning was a nightmare. It was during these days that my surrogate family as I would like to call my friends supported and cared for me. Be it a 3 am coffee or a 1 pm lunch they made sure I was in lesser pain. They helped me curb and save my self confidence and independence which were seeping out of me like a broken water tap.
The day dawned and I packed my bags to fly back home to my family hoping that I would recover from this ordeal. As I left the shores of U.K. I had never imagined that the next few months would cheat me of two precious years of life. From hell to back is an experience. An incident I wish no one has to endure, ever.
But all was not lost, it taught me a lot of words which I knew existed in the dictionary but how it is in reality is part of the learning process. Patience a virtue which can be very frustrating, humility and aspect of life which is difficult to accept, respect a feeling of admiration for something we always take for granted- our lives. It was however the power of love that has amazing healing powers.
Today I want to be a healer who can spread joy and hope in to peoples’ dark lives. I wish to be a person who can bring a smile on to lost faces. Be it a friend or foe, I hope to have a new beginning and certainly a new end too. What is vital is that I be there when it matters the most. Stay put and we shall all see the new dawn together. As I said earlier it’s never too late to change the ending.
